of peace, blessings, God's love, and my testimony

right after my back touched the bed, i felt a surge of silence deep within me. i never felt so quiet, so contemplative, so peaceful in my stay in japan until this night, on this bed, in what we now call "the NPO hotel" (actually this is a house turned into a special school for special kids, a nonprofit org). i felt so at home. this was a night before we left for the world expo. i saw flashbacks of what was happening in my life. i was smiling because i realized this has been a beautiful life after all, my life.

who would think of what i would experience as what i have now? bo, the street boy, preferring to run in the streets than run for errands, read comic books than textbooks, talk "johnny pusong" than current events. occassionally cut classes, lingered more in the corner of rovic, joining the outcasts, laid back, lazy, easy going, always not interested in what others call as best in life, no interest to climb up the ladder of what others call as success. i played in the streets, always in a hurry to get out from class and swim in the sea.

when i was in high school, i was at the top of the inverted pyramid. in college, i never attended any study group, oftentimes failed to submit homeworks. when everybody crammed for exams, i was in the streets laughing. an absentee, always aimed for compliance rather than excellence. i slept at 10pm when my roommate would sleep at 4am. i went to downtown after class when everybody went to the library for research. in my post grad studies in the philippines, i never went to class for almost two months. i cared less, and i was not bothered.

yet, me? being blessed? yes, i am blessed. i have been blessed. i was an honor student in the elementary when i didnt care anything about honors. they could have all the honors in the world, if they wanted it. i belonged to first section in a research and development class during my high school where all the honors of most schools in region 8 belonged to. i was at the top bottom of the class together with those who also didnt care. i was a UP scholar, both school and scholarship i never knew until i was into it. i was just going with the flow. my classmates applied for it, so did i. i just didnt care. i got a failing grade, many times got the minimum grades, a one-time scholarship allowance cut for a semester. i pursued a master's degree which i never really thought of pursuing. my director said so, so why not. i got the master's for free, and enjoyed a 6-day off because my classes were held on saturdays. and graduated. i applied for a month long sponsored study tour in japan in 1999, and was accepted. i applied for another master's in japan in 2003, and was accepted. will i graduate? would i care?

from the time i graduated in college, i found a job after a month of hiatus. was traveling to tacloban-manila-tacloban in one day almost every month. then i was accepted in a government employment which every unemployed hardknock sought for. i went through series of screening, i got the job clean. was trained for 6 months, was assigned as part of the 10-member cavalry out of 32 who worked as executive assistants. i attended different trainings in different places for free. stayed in posh hotels for free, the longest was almost 3 months, and ate exquisite food i could not normally afford.

in japan, i got all things free. opportunities just come when i never really look for it. been to disneyland, disneysea, world expo, etc. lucky? no, i dont believe in luck. everything happens for a purpose. i dont deserve all these, but God simply chooses to give them anyway. i call that God's grace - having what i dont deserve.

but the best part of all these is that i am saved from the condemnation of hell for free. it is a gift of God (romans 6:23) given to me which i humbly accepted in recognition of my own inadequacies and ineptness. the bible is clear enough to declare that "no one is righteous, no, not one." (romans 3:10) and that the "wages of sin is death." (romans 6:23) but God loves me anyway to a point he sent his one and only son to die for my stead. he did it for love. "for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but HAVE ETERNAL LIFE." (john 3:16) "believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved." (romans 16:31) "therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (romans 8:1) i simply chose to believe, and decided to accept Jesus into my life. "for it is by grace you have been saved, THROUGH FAITH - and this is NOT FROM YOURSELVES, it is the gift of God- NOT BY WORKS, so that no one can boast." ephesians 2:8,9)

why me among millions? i dont know. if i were not, i could not and would not complain because i simply deserve the worst in life. YET I AM BLESSED NOT BECAUSE OF WHO I AM OR WHAT I AM OR WHAT I HAVE DONE. I AM BLESSED BECAUSE GOD LOVES ME ANYWAY INSPITE OF. GOD LOVES ME NOT BECAUSE I MERIT THAT LOVE, BUT BECAUSE GOD SIMPLY IS LOVE. again, i call that God's grace. and i am blessed.

"therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the OLD HAS GONE, the NEW HAS COME." 2 corinthians 5:17