portrait

faces of friends, captured by my olympus camedia. from top, reading direction: kohei, japan; yoshiko san, japan; daniel (asrul in real life), malaysia; leah, philippines; channa, cambodia; binh, vietnam; unur, mongolia; hau, vietnam; mirzo, tajikistan.

morning

morning in spring as seen from my window, may 26, 2005

japan has been known as the land of the morning sun. i was told that sunrise really could be so red as in its flag. ive been here two years but til now i havent seen such red sunrise. who would see it when the sun rises at 4 am? only this morning i got to get a glimpse of it because i slept at 5am. but yet it was not red, it was blue. since i am surrounded by mountains, i get to see the fullness of the morning sun at around 8 or 9 am. the mountains cover its first morning glorious beauty.

i am always thankful of the unfolding of a new morning. that means a new day, another day. i am thankful because i get to live again one more day of my life. and with a morning like this (in the picture), i am not losing the wonder of the day. what then would my day be like? how would i spend it? what surprises would i get? this is another exercise of my faith to go through another day.

i have one more day to live. and i am learning to live one day at a time. how long will i live to see one more morning? i dont know. only one thing is certain now, that i am ready to see the passing of another day, and ready to welcome a new morning. that i am ready to see the passing of my life, and ready to welcome a new life eternal.

"filled" trip

grabe ayos it ak adlaw yana. naglaba ak kanina nga aga while sige basa emails, mga news konohay ha inq7, philstar, malaya, journal ngan abante-tonite, exactly in that order gud. tpos back to inq7 to watch clips from gma7 while listening to music han akon sony hi-fi (nga ha pagkayana gusto ko na ipuspos kay "no disc" na pirme, ambot naano na ini.) after gma7, parong an sony, pamati na lwat ako ha dzas 702 ha internet while reading blogs, rereading blogs, etc. tpos laba, luto lunch, tpos pack up na hini nga mga forex boxes. asya it ak aga.



field trip kanina, may 25, 2005

han udto, nagfield trip kami ha uzhuoka (tapang la ito nga ngaran kay kalimot ak) diversion river (shinano river, the longest river ha japan) harani niigata, bis lugar di ak maaram. enjoy kami duro sige picture picture. for the first time, and i hope the last time, nahulog ak camera, try ko pgsalo, napakulob lugod ako, nauntog ak ulo ha bagan kudal ha rooftop han office hini nga kanan diversion. upay nala wray naguba ak olympus. olympus man gud. mahulog nala an tanan nga ginpicturan ko, ayaw la ini nga camera unta. tpos pag uli nam, umagi kami ha fish market. pumalit ak shrimp nga sinugba, mais nga makuri i-describe it rasa ngan gugti nga octopus. picture picture na lwat.

pag abot ko iuj, pasado alas 6, naghulat na ha ak an japanese para han english bible study, so kadto naman ak ha shiozawa. marasa na lwat am dinner. naabutan alas 9 am discussion. tpos invite na lwat ak nira kadto ha yokohama yana nga june 19, mayda daw gathering ini nga ira grupo nga mayda english interpreter. wray anay ako nagcommit kay dire pa klaro kon libre. i cant afford to go on my own kay damo ak expenses yana para mga padara hini nga mga balikbayan boxes. pinoy man gud ako. plus mga payables pa related ha graduation. pero ginbalik balik pagsiring nga isahaya san is inviting you. siguro libre gad ini. one day la ata, balik la pgkagab-i.

after hini nga BS, dul-ong na ako tiuli ha iuj. may kasabot ko pa alas 9pm, birtdey sankay ko. pero late ako umabot. wray hya bisita kay sunday pa kono celebration. kay birtdey man, siyempre may ice cream. tsika kami until 2 am. baga kami correct, pulitika am gin storyahan. ngan damo nga jokes.

past 2 am na ako nakabalik ha room ko. download pa ako mga pictures. surat hini nga blog. pagkita ko hit ak katre, damo mga gamit kay wray ko katapos knina an pagsulod ha forex box. hay gin itsa ko nala ha salog ini nga mga kon ano ano la. yana alas 3 na han umagahon, tapuson ko na lwat ini nga akon blog, nga makaturog na ako.

ayos gud it ak adlaw.

choice

anybody can tell me what kind of a flower this is?

alone or in a crowd, which do you prefer? or sometimes alone, sometimes in a crowd. it's a choice actually. but whatever your preference is, whether solo or in a company, always be beautiful in God's eyes. just like these flowers.
___________
good night.

"on boys and bikinis"

surprised? go just check it out. it's one good read. linked without permission.

hitched

after dinner last night with the cambodians who prepared a very green, very oishi meal, we watched a movie in the lounge. we were joined by our common friends from uzbekistan, holland, egypt, jordan, china, sri lanka, and vietnam. and the title of the movie was? ennnnng engggg engggg..."the bachelor".

hahaha the movie was for me although i dont have 100 million dollars to get girls go crazy over me. but i like his words of proposal to the girl when he said: you win! and i may add: i lost! this is what getting hitched is all about. maybe?

i envy the flowers now which look so compatible and cute together. buti pa sila.

when i was in my teens, i had this idea of what kind of a girl would i marry. when i reached my teens part II (twenteens, that is), i already had a picture of who the girl was. now, (HEY I AM STILL A CALENDAR BOY!), i am asking: WHERE is the girl! more of a punctuation mark than a question.

i wish i were jimmy who ended up a hudred million dollars richer and with anne, exactly in that order.

flower chorus

flowers in shiozawa farm, may 21, 2005

yesterday i volunteered to help aoki sensei work in his farm. we planted mushrooms in the logs that we cut last snow filled april. i've never been a farmer in my life, though i wish i were and imagined how free would have i been from nonsense bosses. working with nature, or being with nature, always gives me a different high and a sense of freedom. there's something in it. maybe a sense of awe.

who would not be awed when all around me i could see wild flowers/backyard flowers just growing practically everywhere. aoki sensei toured me to every corner of the backyard farm and showed me spring flowers in full bloom. such colors!

michael collins of apollo 11 is right when he said: "the moon is so scarred, so desolate, so monotonous, that i cannot recall its tortured surface without thinking of the infinite planet earth offers: misty waterfalls, pine forests, rose gardens, blues and greens and reds and whites." (carrying fire)

green

iuj in green, may 17, 2005

green na liwat it iuj. baga na hin pinas. ayos gud it Ginoo, gin-andam na ako pag-uli. kunbaga, transition na ha ak it pagchange han color han paligid. ha pinas man gud, pirme green ha bug-os nga tuig.

presko it green nga color. pero ha iba, bastos daw ini nga color. ambot kon kay ano. pakiana ko la, kay ano nga green man it grass?

pero balitaw, di na gud la maiha, mauli na ako. excited gad kay back to where i belong naman liwat ako. mahusay gad udog it pinas, it sistema la, masumo. bisan ha ofis ko, waray naman la kadigni-dignidad, bagan di kami mga professional. puros la tsismis, pandaot hit igkasi ngan kon ano ano pa nga mga hungkag nga istorya. yana kono adto na hira ha garahian na-ofis kay nasunog man gud it amon opisina last december. waray daw pundo pagconstruct hit bag-o nga building. rason ba ito para magin garahian na it am workplace? salit, it am output, kon may output man, baga liwat tambutso it quality. kon magrent la anay hin workplace? di daw pwede kay bangin igreclaim han leyte province an area. maiha naman gud ito nga gincontest han provincial government an ownership. bati ko, ginbabawi han leyte province an lugar. dire liwat nasugot it ak ofis kay maiha na daw hira dida. baga hira mga bata nga nag aaway hit usa nga candy. kunbaga, naimagine ko, kon yana nga aga magrelocate ak ofis, pagkagab-i, sekretohon dayon nga kuhaon han leyte province an lugar. hahaha mas maupay pa an kinder ha alpha-omega learning center kay maaram mag istorya hin tuhay parti hit ira mga balon. kon nag aagaw-agaway man hira hit ira balon, at least maintindihan kay mga bata hira. hay buhay.

sige la, damoon ko nala pagpicture hit lugar didi ha japan. kon masumo man ako ha pinas, kitaon ko nala ini nga mga pictures. ngan ipaawa hit ak mga kaopisina. kitaon ta la kon dire hira mag-green with envy.

paglubog ng araw

urasa sunset, april 2005

nagtagalog hi gary, nagtagalog hi tish. puros ghap tagalog akon ginbasa knina nga blog. yana, tagalog nala lwat akon entry. pero usa ini nga kanta nga paborito ko since college. paborito namon nga magsarangkay. sista la an accompaniment, risyo na amon kinabuhi hadto. meaningful ini nga kanta. timely an message. tupang ligaw an title. kanta ni rez valdez.

malapit na namang lumubog ang araw
dilim ng gabi'y darating na naman
sa paghimlay mo isip mo'y naglalakbay
nakatanaw sa kawalan.

lumipas na naman ang isang araw sa buhay
takbo ng buhay mo'y di mo namamalayan
sa bawat sandaling darating at papanaw
buhay mo'y tila parang kulang.

kayamanan at lahat ng kalayawan
wala pala itong kabuluhan
kung si Kristo ay wala pa sa iyong buhay
para kang isang tupang ligaw.

succession

in kokusai chuo, may 17, 2005


some thoughts before i retire.

for every a 1, there's always a 2, then a 3, so on. from temporal, there is a succession of eternal; from finite to infinity.

r.w. emerson says it better: "God had infinite time to give us; but how did He give it? in one immense tract of lazy millineums? no, He cut it up into a neat succession of new mornings."

for every yesterday, there's always a new morning. then another morning. and then another.

lessons from the river

river in urasa, may 17, 2005

• quoted: a river would lose its song if you remove its rocks
• i couldn't have this entry had i cooked my lunch at 11am (it's now 12:18, was about to eat when i realized my rice cooker has no cooked rice)
• had it not for my class at 1pm today, my writing gana would not have worked (so i have to blog fast, choose what kind of pix to post in split seconds, and layout with one eye)
• river is not only of stones, nor only of water; it must be both; same with happiness
• natural noise produced by rushing water against the stones is soothing and comforting than the noise pollution i heard from rock bands, cars, and fighting planes
• if the flow of the water is blocked by the stones, it sings
• if the flow of the water is blocked by the stones, it detours
• the rushing river ends in the wide ocean
• the rushing river surely starts from somewhere else
• the water flow is volume, but it is never consumed
• it is only dried up when man starts taking care of it
• after this blog, rice is also cooked

wisdom

maple leaves in spring, may 14, 2005, shiozawa parking area

most of us have been into fiery trials. some understand why it does happen to them, but most, if not all, question the wisdom behind this happening. for others, it is an awakening, an eye opener; for some, it is unfair, an incident beyond logic.

here is one guy whose suffering is not uncommon to most of us. job, a familiar character in the old testament, was hit by his enemy to the bone. his children were struck by a calamity and died in the same day, his property was ruined, he got boils all over, he was cursed by his wife, and to top it all, these incidents were approved by a God, his Creator, whom he feared and trusted all his life. it all happened albeit job was described as an upright and blameless man.

yet in all these, job searched for wisdom. his declaration of what wisdom is and the value of it speaks greatly of what we perhaps are looking for these days. i read these words yesterday in job 28.

12 "But where can wisdom be found?
Where does understanding dwell?

13 Man does not comprehend its worth;
it cannot be found in the land of the living.

14 The deep says, 'It is not in me';
the sea says, 'It is not with me.'

15 It cannot be bought with the finest gold,
nor can its price be weighed in silver.

16 It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir,
with precious onyx or sapphires.

17 Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it,
nor can it be had for jewels of gold.

18 Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention;
the price of wisdom is beyond rubies.

19 The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it;
it cannot be bought with pure gold.

20 "Where then does wisdom come from?
Where does understanding dwell?

21 It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing,
concealed even from the birds of the air.

22 Destruction and Death say,
'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'

23 God understands the way to it
and he alone knows where it dwells,

24 for he views the ends of the earth
and sees everything under the heavens.

25 When he established the force of the wind
and measured out the waters,

26 when he made a decree for the rain
and a path for the thunderstorm,

27 then he looked at wisdom and appraised it;
he confirmed it and tested it.

28 And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
and to shun evil is understanding.' "

i learned something from job yesterday.